Them Chores
So, I'm not sure how I should say this but...I enjoy cleaning.
When Nio and I moved into our apartment back in January, it was nice to start making our place feel like home. I remember we didn't have any pots, pans, or a microwave so we used this precision cooktop thing to heat our food (Oh! And the rice cooker to heat our soup, lol). It was so strange that I could wake up early (sometimes at 6 or 7am) and have the energy to do stuff around the apartment. But after I was hospitalized in April and when my doctor stopped certain medications because we wanted to get pregnant, my health started to regress slowly. In the past few months my joints have been so swollen that it would be hard to stand or even walk. And as of a few weeks ago, most of my joints have been affected, including both hips and my left jaw. It can get pretty scary at times because I sometimes wonder when I would ever start feeling better...or if this is what I'll have to endure until my time is up.
The season has been changing and sometimes people think that the weather has some effects on my joints, but I've never really considered that before. The pain and swelling tend to fluctuate that it's hard for me to figure out what alleviates or exasperates the symptoms. I'd like to think that my diet plays a significant role in my health since I believe that whatever I put in my body correlates with how my body is able to function. It's hard to be disciplined in the area of food and a proper diet because I like to eat...and I'll eat almost anything. But now, with the prescription medication (including a steroid) I'm currently on, it makes it harder to resist the fatty, greasy, sweet, and salty foods. I've noticed though, that when I was feeling the most pain in my body, I was more likely to restrict my diet intake. However, since I last saw my doctor a few weeks ago, she increased my dosage in order for the pain to be alleviated which was really good...but also bad because now my body thinks that it's ok to eat whatever I want without it being severely affected. Ugh, so hard to be disciplined. Another side effect of my medication is increased tiredness, water retention, weight gain, puffy face, some hair loss, and effects on my skin...so all these things add another component to my health factor: emotional depression because of my physical appearance. Blah.
Ok, so I'm venting a little. I recognize and acknowledge my feelings and emotions because I don't want these things to influence my behavior negatively. I know I have Christ and my hope is found in Him alone. Everything I'm experiencing now, as real as it gets, I know that I won't go through this forever. Maybe for a season, but not forever. I know that God made all things and holds them together by His power; nothing I go through is out of His sight. And I know that such a love comes from the cross and for that, I am truly grateful. No matter the circumstances and challenges I face, Christ is my anchor and steady foundation, so I place all my trust in Him completely. Therefore, I am no longer bound to view my situation in a natural sense, but by God's power and through the lens of the gospel, I can see it in light of eternity. I want to honor Him with my life as long as I have breath.
...so this brings me to the title of this post, "Them Chores." Yes, household chores--something minute and seemingly insignificant. It was so hard to move around just about 2 weeks ago, but now since my pain is alleviated for now, I have the energy to do stuff around the apartment. Yesterday I was able to do a lot more organizing and proper cleaning; it made me feel happy about the cleanliness of my home. I thank God for giving me the strength to do these things because I'm reminded of the undeserved blessings and of His faithfulness. He is so good; I pray that I continue to surrender everything completely to Him because His is my only hope.
When Nio and I moved into our apartment back in January, it was nice to start making our place feel like home. I remember we didn't have any pots, pans, or a microwave so we used this precision cooktop thing to heat our food (Oh! And the rice cooker to heat our soup, lol). It was so strange that I could wake up early (sometimes at 6 or 7am) and have the energy to do stuff around the apartment. But after I was hospitalized in April and when my doctor stopped certain medications because we wanted to get pregnant, my health started to regress slowly. In the past few months my joints have been so swollen that it would be hard to stand or even walk. And as of a few weeks ago, most of my joints have been affected, including both hips and my left jaw. It can get pretty scary at times because I sometimes wonder when I would ever start feeling better...or if this is what I'll have to endure until my time is up.
The season has been changing and sometimes people think that the weather has some effects on my joints, but I've never really considered that before. The pain and swelling tend to fluctuate that it's hard for me to figure out what alleviates or exasperates the symptoms. I'd like to think that my diet plays a significant role in my health since I believe that whatever I put in my body correlates with how my body is able to function. It's hard to be disciplined in the area of food and a proper diet because I like to eat...and I'll eat almost anything. But now, with the prescription medication (including a steroid) I'm currently on, it makes it harder to resist the fatty, greasy, sweet, and salty foods. I've noticed though, that when I was feeling the most pain in my body, I was more likely to restrict my diet intake. However, since I last saw my doctor a few weeks ago, she increased my dosage in order for the pain to be alleviated which was really good...but also bad because now my body thinks that it's ok to eat whatever I want without it being severely affected. Ugh, so hard to be disciplined. Another side effect of my medication is increased tiredness, water retention, weight gain, puffy face, some hair loss, and effects on my skin...so all these things add another component to my health factor: emotional depression because of my physical appearance. Blah.
Ok, so I'm venting a little. I recognize and acknowledge my feelings and emotions because I don't want these things to influence my behavior negatively. I know I have Christ and my hope is found in Him alone. Everything I'm experiencing now, as real as it gets, I know that I won't go through this forever. Maybe for a season, but not forever. I know that God made all things and holds them together by His power; nothing I go through is out of His sight. And I know that such a love comes from the cross and for that, I am truly grateful. No matter the circumstances and challenges I face, Christ is my anchor and steady foundation, so I place all my trust in Him completely. Therefore, I am no longer bound to view my situation in a natural sense, but by God's power and through the lens of the gospel, I can see it in light of eternity. I want to honor Him with my life as long as I have breath.
...so this brings me to the title of this post, "Them Chores." Yes, household chores--something minute and seemingly insignificant. It was so hard to move around just about 2 weeks ago, but now since my pain is alleviated for now, I have the energy to do stuff around the apartment. Yesterday I was able to do a lot more organizing and proper cleaning; it made me feel happy about the cleanliness of my home. I thank God for giving me the strength to do these things because I'm reminded of the undeserved blessings and of His faithfulness. He is so good; I pray that I continue to surrender everything completely to Him because His is my only hope.
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