My Beloved (con't)
This past Monday I had the opportunity to spend some time with the lovely women of Cru. Last semester we were able to have "women's time," which is why we're continuing with it now. It was such an incredible experience sharing our deepest secrets, insecurities, and struggles. I love and cherish the times we're together because I'm always encouraged by their life stories. I've learned that we all have stuff we keep behind closed doors--ashamed and fearful of what others may perceive when they see our true selves. I felt like I could relate to a lot of the women because I have found that I am the same exact way. What I've realized from what everyone was sharing was that we tend to feel "alone," as though no one could possibly understand what we're going through. We feel like our struggles are uniquely our own (which is true) but the physical, emotional, and spiritual pain resonates with the majority of the women.
As the stories were being told, you can hear the shame in their voice. My heart broke for them as I thought, "God, I never knew." But even as they said what they wanted to say, my perception of them hadn't change. I was just beginning to have a deeper compassionate love for them. Since then, I feel as though God is encouraging me to share my own stories, exposing my own vices and challenging me to be more vulnerable in my weaknesses. I find comfort through 2 Corinthians 12:10, where is says: ...for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
There have been things in my past that I had always thought I would never let anyone find out. Then God allowed me to go through with a study at church that caused me to confront my past. (Btw, the study is called Life's Healing Choices). God had made me see that in order for Him to use me completely, I'd have to surrender every compartmentalized department in my life. You have no idea how tightly I held on to my "security blankets," lol. Slowly but surely God broke through each barrier and I witnessed the awesome ways God has used me to impact the lives of others. So once I had the opportunity to share my past with a trusted friend, I actually felt free...like a burden has been lifted. A few more times afterwards I was able to open up even more.
At the last women's time, I was partnered with two other girls. We talked about a few things we had struggled with but I sensed that there was something keeping one of the girls from opening up. When I shared my story she smiled and said, "Wow, I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one." I saw that as I continue to share my story with others, the more I don't identify with my past. I'm not who I was. Rather I am becoming more like the woman God wants me to be. When we hold on to our identity in Christ, as His beloved, we experience true security and everlasting worth.
As the stories were being told, you can hear the shame in their voice. My heart broke for them as I thought, "God, I never knew." But even as they said what they wanted to say, my perception of them hadn't change. I was just beginning to have a deeper compassionate love for them. Since then, I feel as though God is encouraging me to share my own stories, exposing my own vices and challenging me to be more vulnerable in my weaknesses. I find comfort through 2 Corinthians 12:10, where is says: ...for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
There have been things in my past that I had always thought I would never let anyone find out. Then God allowed me to go through with a study at church that caused me to confront my past. (Btw, the study is called Life's Healing Choices). God had made me see that in order for Him to use me completely, I'd have to surrender every compartmentalized department in my life. You have no idea how tightly I held on to my "security blankets," lol. Slowly but surely God broke through each barrier and I witnessed the awesome ways God has used me to impact the lives of others. So once I had the opportunity to share my past with a trusted friend, I actually felt free...like a burden has been lifted. A few more times afterwards I was able to open up even more.
At the last women's time, I was partnered with two other girls. We talked about a few things we had struggled with but I sensed that there was something keeping one of the girls from opening up. When I shared my story she smiled and said, "Wow, I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one." I saw that as I continue to share my story with others, the more I don't identify with my past. I'm not who I was. Rather I am becoming more like the woman God wants me to be. When we hold on to our identity in Christ, as His beloved, we experience true security and everlasting worth.
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