I Know Who I Am
Today I felt like crap...twice (over the same thing).
I've fallen into that lie that Satan loves to sell me--the lie that I'm fat and that my physical body is ugly. It's a popular product that many girls & women so easily accept. It's a sad truth and an unfortunate reality.
How many people have called themselves "fat" after stuffing themselves from a buffet restaurant? But how many still call themselves "fat" after skipping a few days from eating? Ok yea, I haven't gone to the extreme of not eating for a day but I do have those feelings of being "fat" even though my weight is considered appropriate for my height. And no matter how many times my friends or family tell me I "look" fine, I could not come to terms with it in my head. When I notice that my clothes are not fitting right, I become disappointed in myself.
We're constantly being bombarded with how the world defines as beautiful. I read somewhere that what's considered beautiful is usually because it's symmetrical. I compare myself to a lot of people and there's nothing very symmetrical about my body. Seriously, one issue would be that because of my rheumatoid arthritis, it has affected my joints thereby affecting how I walk or how I accomplish my day-to-day activities. One part of my body may be stronger than the other, so I grow to be dependent on the strong side. The thing is that if I don't use my muscles on the weaker side, it begins to atrophy. I look abnormal. People will tell me that they don't notice these things, but I do.
It breaks my heart when I hear other girls and women hate on the way they look. Can't they see how extremely gorgeous they are? Yet, I seem to see myself as the only exception. There's always something not right with how I look no matter how hard I try to change it. I bawled my eyes today because I did not like myself. But the most amazingly awesome thing happened. God's Spirit spoke to my heart in the most gentle and quiet way. He had me imagine Jesus standing right in front of me, looking at me with his tender eyes and loving me completely, imperfections and all. Then he brought to mind 1 Samuel 16:7b where it says, "The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I took a deep breath and smiled at the very thought of this absolute truth. The world cannot define who I am because my identity is firmly secured in Christ.
I know who I am, even when I feel like I don't.
I've fallen into that lie that Satan loves to sell me--the lie that I'm fat and that my physical body is ugly. It's a popular product that many girls & women so easily accept. It's a sad truth and an unfortunate reality.
How many people have called themselves "fat" after stuffing themselves from a buffet restaurant? But how many still call themselves "fat" after skipping a few days from eating? Ok yea, I haven't gone to the extreme of not eating for a day but I do have those feelings of being "fat" even though my weight is considered appropriate for my height. And no matter how many times my friends or family tell me I "look" fine, I could not come to terms with it in my head. When I notice that my clothes are not fitting right, I become disappointed in myself.
We're constantly being bombarded with how the world defines as beautiful. I read somewhere that what's considered beautiful is usually because it's symmetrical. I compare myself to a lot of people and there's nothing very symmetrical about my body. Seriously, one issue would be that because of my rheumatoid arthritis, it has affected my joints thereby affecting how I walk or how I accomplish my day-to-day activities. One part of my body may be stronger than the other, so I grow to be dependent on the strong side. The thing is that if I don't use my muscles on the weaker side, it begins to atrophy. I look abnormal. People will tell me that they don't notice these things, but I do.
It breaks my heart when I hear other girls and women hate on the way they look. Can't they see how extremely gorgeous they are? Yet, I seem to see myself as the only exception. There's always something not right with how I look no matter how hard I try to change it. I bawled my eyes today because I did not like myself. But the most amazingly awesome thing happened. God's Spirit spoke to my heart in the most gentle and quiet way. He had me imagine Jesus standing right in front of me, looking at me with his tender eyes and loving me completely, imperfections and all. Then he brought to mind 1 Samuel 16:7b where it says, "The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I took a deep breath and smiled at the very thought of this absolute truth. The world cannot define who I am because my identity is firmly secured in Christ.
I know who I am, even when I feel like I don't.
sounds awesome. coming to terms with things like these are always glorifying to God because it focuses our attention on the creator, not the creation.
ReplyDeleteI dont know if this relates, but it made me think of 1 Peter 3:3-4.
Hey Edward! I totally agree!
DeleteGod should get all of our attention because when He does, we don't have time worrying about what other people think. All that matters is what He thinks/says of us and He already calls us His beloved; we are precious in His eyes.
And thank you for the verse. A definite reminder of what we should clothe ourselves with, "the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God" (v.4).